he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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