you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
