Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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