I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
