Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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