his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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