we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
