The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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