Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
