do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
