smell my finger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize