fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
