There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm both gender and math confused
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
