i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize