wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
