This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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