Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
