please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize