there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
