Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
