You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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