I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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