Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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