Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
