i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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