Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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