the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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