whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
