so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
