Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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