I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
