somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
