Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
