Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
