Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
