So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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