I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
