whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
