end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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