turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
