belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
