he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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