On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
