what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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