I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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