i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
