So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
