Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's even glitter on my cock...
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