you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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