Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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