its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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