Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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