Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
