I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
