Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
