So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?