are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin