I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize