I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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