And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
