If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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