The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
